Well John Smith, Im Lester Murphy he said slapping me on the shoulder and scooping up my suitcase, Lets get back to the farm before my missus starts to wonder where weve got to. We climbed into his old, beat up farm truck and drove off down the dirt road that stretched off into the distance. As the miles passed, I couldnt help a growing feeling of remoteness as we went by green meadows and, after a while, rows and rows of apple trees stretching as far as I could see. Finally, we passed out of the orchards and crossed an old wooden bridge that stretched over a lazy stream with willows growing on the banks. Surrounding a hard packed farmyard was a large red barn, several animal pens, and an immense old farmhouse where a plump lady in a floury apron was walking down the steps to meet the truck. After we had parked I climbed out as she walked up and held out my hand to make an introduction. Hello Maam, Im- Was all I managed before she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight, an. I looked at myself and I heaved a great sigh;No bosoms most pert, or tush firm and tight,Had formed on my body that cold Christmas night.As I opened my mouth to curse at my fateA noise on my roof made me hesitate.I hurried outside, then shouted, "Good grief!"The sight that I saw there was beyond belief.For, up on my roof, was a babe dressed in red,Sitting upon an old, antique sled.And tied to the sleigh with thin strips of leatherWere eight stunning gals who weren't dressed for the weather --Their red thong bikinis were cause for alarm,'Cause they barely protected these fine ladies' charm.I called to the driver, "Are you nine alright?I heard you crash-land. You gave me a fright."The driver just waived, then licked her lips slick.She picked up the reins and gave a light flick.The signal was given; the gals out in frontBegan pulling the sleigh with nary a grunt.They stepped off the roof and into the night,Then down to the ground they did gently alight.The driver smiled warmly. "Come.
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